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Hi there!One question for the ones not living alone: where do you hide your girly stuff ?I gonna move with my gf, and i don't know what to do of my cardboard boxes full of clothes and stuff :(
If she doesn't like, she may not be for you.
Don't purge. You'll just regret it in the long run. Especially if you find yourself single again.
What to do really depends on your situation. If there is a good chance that your relationship is going to be long-term, it's better to come out to your girlfriend earlier rather than later.
If you don't feel comfortable doing that, rent a storage unit in your name only. It's also a good place to stash any furniture or other items you want to keep, but don't have room for.
Depending on your need to dress, you can keep a carpet-bag or small piece of luggage containing one or two outfits and any makeup or accessories in your car. Make sure you have a luggage lock on it though. If your gf asks about it, you can just say it's a change of clothes.
Finally, stick to wearing your own outfits. Don't succumb to the temptation to wear your gf's clothes without permission.
Realistically, if she can't accept you as you are now, it's not going to get better in the future. Remember that you are keeping a major fact about yourself from her, and that lack of trust will hurt when/if she finds out.
While I agree with everyone else, I may as well tell you where I hide mine
I live with my dad, and he gave me, LONG ago, this lockable chest. I never really used it for anything, until like two years ago when I first got a decent collection of girly clothes. I kept it underneath my computer desk, and he never suspected I'd use it for anything because, for a long while, I never did.
Now, after a month or so of moving back and forth and losing my coputer desk in the process, I have it across a corner with my computer and stereo system on top of it. It's a bitch to get into now, so I stuffed a couple of outfits I wear commonly into plastic shopping bags and have them hidden in the corner underneath all my wires and stuff. Most people just think it's a bunch of trash, so it all works out.
I live in a flat with 3 other flatmates, I ways have people coming in and out of my room. I use a black plastic non-see through toolbox to hide my clothes. I'm the sort of guy who already has one similar toobox (full of actual tools) in my room anyways. so even if someone saw it they wouldn't question a thing. Pros: There male looking, Cheap, Nobody knows whats inside and usually they have a bit where you can chuck a padlock on it too - That's my solution.
But i'd suggest telling your girlfriend. Worse case, she dumps you, but its hard living in the closet.Best case, shes okay with it and even lets you use her clothes too and you two have the most amazing time of your life xD
Pic related, it's me.
The one problem with toolboxes is that when you live in an apartment with other people, there is going to be somebody who's going to try to borrow your tools without asking you. So you really need that lock on it.
>>301yeah, ill admit that.I still have mine slightly out the way inside my closet, its just the sort of item a normal person wont look twice over noticing it.
>>301Put a lock on it?
I think someone needs another cup of coffee. Reread the last sentence.
>>304Definitely, reading comprehension has not been my friend lately.
So everyone else there keeps their stuff in cardboard? Lets ignore the OP's GF issue. This is actually pretty interesting :3
I use a small duffel bag with a little padlock to hold the zipper closed. Big enough for all my clothes and stuff (for now...) and easy to stash inconspicuously on top of my wardrobe behind other stuff.
>So everyone else there keeps their stuff in cardboard? Lets ignore the OP's GF issue.
That was the main subject anyway :DActually i use a cardboard inside another cardboard (inception style).
One half of my clothes is hidden within my desk. Behind the drawers, there's a good 18" of space that can only be accessed by removing the drawers, so I put stuff in boxes behind there.
I'm a bit of a computer geek, so I tend to have quite a bit of computer hardware lying around. After getting a new case, I stuffed clothes into my old computer case. Nobody's going to check inside. This of course only works if your computer case doesn't have windows, etc.
I'm sure you can find exciting everyday places to hide objects where nobody can be bothered to check.
>>317Kat? that's actually you? (I didn't realize sorry)You inspired me to get my stuff in pink and blank that i have now :3 thank you soo much!
anyways, back on topicNow I have soo many clothes that i cant keep mine in the toolbox anymore, i just moved them to the bottom draw. I'm going to make it so the draw cant be opened without removing a bolt or something hidden around the back edge later.. I might whip up a montage/pic for the sake of this thread.
Pic related, its me in heaven.
I have actually found that suit bags are wonderful for this. They are very nondescript, they cover the items well, they keep them free of dust, and will almost never been "inspected" by the GF.
wow the computer case one is genius when I first saw this thread I figured >.> bah stupid ... then the predicament soon came up :3 Rushed straight here :3
i have a similar issue.
with regards to storing, i started with cardboard boxes, rucksacks, toolboxes. toolboxes work great, but they're pretty small (especially with toys too!). an ottoman is pretty nice, you can even get lockable ones. my solution now is that i have a couple of storage crates from a department store warehouse. they're massive, sturdy and have padlock holes on. i use one to store regular stuff in when i move to my dorms. then i shove them in the corner with a blanket and a cushion. no one notices and they make a good seat.
my gf has been hinting at moving in. even if i can hide my stuff, i'll never get to wear it. i suspect i'll resist, she'll get fed up and we'll break up. but i'd rather that than come out. but that's me.
and when we do break up, i'll get my own place with two warddrobes for both of me.
Well in my case, being 18, college, with parents, it's fairly hard to do but I manage to do it.
I have always kept boxes (computer hardware, videogame consoles and whatnot) behind my mattress under my bed's header, and just about 3 months ago that I started getting girly undies for myself I did find those boxes a good use.
I keep my undies hidden in three different boxes. 29 panties and 6 bras in a Xbox 360 box, 2 panties and 2 bras in a graphics card box, and a lacey bra in a motherboard box. So far it has worked great and no suspicion by anyone here, although I do have to find alternatives soon as those boxes are now unable to fit anything else inside.
BTW Raven, where'd you get those? or any of the ones you have? :3
>>434my thong?Uh, The brand is called "Peep" and they were originally brought from SouthAfrica. Goodluck finding them lol.
lol, it seems it won't be very easy x3. A quick google search led me to an extremely expensive yellow/white thong, which reminded me that I have to save up a little more before buying more undies so I don't fall in red numbers.
Thanks for getting back to me anyways :3
I keep my stuff in a spare guitar case under my bed. No one ever bothers with it. My issue now is that I'm thinking about only wearing panties, but I live with my mom and she might notice if I have no boxers ever in my laundry, plus I have to wash them when she's gone for the night, and our dryer broke so I have to hang stuff up to dry. It's not too bad because it's mostly said pantsu, but I have a few pairs of stockings and a lingerie top too. I just don't know how she'd feel about it. She got pissed when she found some of my porn when I was young, but I'm in my early 20s now so I don't know.
Also, I keep my couple of toys in a 360 box too. If you have a small amount to hide that kind of thing works fine. Your friends aren't going to bother looking in what they think is an empty box unless the feel it for some reason.
I have one of those old leather chaise lounges, and its comfy as FUCK.
But hey, see all that extra room under the cushions?Yes, i hollowed the bastard out, and keep all my girly stuff, and my Chance Stallion in it.
Was a pain in the arse to make, but its the last place anyone will ever look
I'll just explain my experience really quick.
I've been dressing for about 8 years and I hid it from all but my last 3 girlfriends.The first girl had feminine klinfelters so she was very understanding.The second girl fetishized me which was nice for a while but then got a little offensive.The last girl, the one I'm marrying didn't know and I lied about all the clothes I had. We ended up throwing them out, then I told her at a later time and she came to accept it and supports it completely. She was a hard core christian 100% straight and very judgmental when I met her.
The reason I've told this story is you might want to consider coming out to your girlfriend, even if it takes her some time to adjust in the long run, you won't be hiding yourself from her, you'll be able to be more honest with her and it could strengthen your relationship.
If she can't love you for who you are then maybe whatever happens should happen. You don't need to hide yourself when there are girls out there who will love you for 100% of who you are.
psYou do obviously know her better than anyone on here combined but I still think it's unhealthy to have a relationship where you have to lie about something that's so entwined in who you are as a person.
She's not your buddy that you go to the bar with after work. She's your partner... I feel bad about hiding myself from my guy friends but I always feel horrible about hiding it from a lover.
Pic related lol
I love you baby =] And I support everything you do I hope that more men can come out with it to their partners it's a great thing actually it makes the best boyfriend (well for me Fiance) =] It is a great way to bond. Also it is a great way to see if the person really loves you for who you are. No need to hide things from the person you love. <3
>>475Boyfriend or girlfriend?...
>>476lol yes the best boyfriend or girlfriend =] =] <3
>>307more raven, take it off!!!
>>492Nah, I'm good. Look at me all grown up now :P
wow, those legs
>>545 I love it!
Just tell her you play dress up. Shit is going to be found out sooner or later. If she has to find out on her own she'll freak. Maybe you'll get lucky, and she'll even want to help you play dress up. (worked for me. Now I'm married to someone who buys me clothes and takes my pics)
Hey Kat. Hope you still lurk here.
|Its Raven popping in with a lil update. I'm 51 days now on Hormone Replacement Therapy now.
I've never felt so good about myself, my body and my future.It all started back here, In this thread, just wanted to say thank you <3
Hey Raven,i'm happy for you! Best wishes for that new life :)
And for the records, i've finally told my girlfriend about my situation and she's totally ok with it :pSo now we "play dress up" together and that's pretty cool. No HRT and stuff though, but that's not the plan anyway :)
>>807Thats awesome babe. This is me after 200 days of hormones. :D
>>966wow awesome :3love the hair <3
Don't tell your GF. 99% of women will freak out, it won't go well.
Put your stuff in a suitcase or box with a lock on it.
Anon, you just responded to a post from 2013. A 6 year old dead post.
>>1502That's not the problem with that post. There could be someone in a similar situation, not necessarily the persons who participated in that discussion before, who might benefit from reading the discussion with the new addition.The problem with that post, is that it doesn't add anything to the discussion. It makes a categorical claim about more than half the humans on earth (even if it is phrased probabilistically) without providing any proof or evidence. If it explained why the claim is true (and it wasn't already obvious from what already existed in the thread) then it would be good; I doubt that any person or set of persons could furnish any good evidence for that claim.
>>1550So this thread discusses ways to keep it secret, and reasons to not keep it secret, but it it doesn't discuss reasons that keeping it secret might be good. (As in a real discussion, not just the perfectly valid fear that >>1500 described.) Here are some thoughts about it:
>Remember that you are keeping a major fact about yourself from her, and that lack of trust will hurt when/if she finds out.
This depends on the person or relationship. It really depends on whether she considers it major, whether she understands the reasonable motives for keeping it secret, whether, however major she considers it, the relationship is strong enough to withstand the initial shock.This last point may seem a bit counterintuitive, but usually, after the initial shock, if the relationship survives, it's fairly quickly built back up to the same strength as before, if not stronger. This is similar to how debt affects a credit score. When I take out a big loan, my credit score goes down, but as I keep repaying it according to the agreement of the loan, the credit score will go up, and when it's repaid in full, the entire process of taking out the loan and repaying it in full according to the terms of the agreement, raised the credit score go up. Telling her about something the she considers major, that you've been hiding from her, is like getting some intimacy debt, and her coming to terms with it is like repaying the intimacy debt.If the relationship is not strong enough, the initial shock might be too much, and she'll be unwilling or unable to come to terms with it, and the relationship will end. To continue the analogy with debt affecting a credit score, if I have a low credit score, and I take out a loan, my credit score might become so low that a bank might want to limit my revolving credit accounts with them, and that limiting might end up causing those accounts to close.I think this is the question, whether the relationship is strong enough to survive the revelation. It might help if she's understanding, but I think that would place an unfair strain on her. Whether you should wait, depends on whether the relationship is strong enough now, whether the relationship will be stronger later. (To be fair, I should mention that I'm always up front about it, because, where I am, it's not especially dangerous to be me, and there are enough others that if they're intolerant or weird about it, I can find someone whose not much worse but except at least tolerant and probably accepting.)In this case, of wanting her to know, but being worried how she'd react, not telling her is equivalent to distrust. But generally, not telling her something about yourself isn't necessarily distrust. There are many things I don't tell my intimate partner because there's no need, because it doesn't really affect them or would only affect them if I tell them. For example, my porn, my poo, my bank data. These are things I keep to myself, not because I don't trust them, but because we don't need it.Another thing is that I don't have to be perfectly intimate, to be intimate. There could be some benefits to sharing something, that the relationship isn't ready for. Watching porn together might enhance sexytime. The financial merging that is marriage may have tax benefits. Sharing our poo with each other could help each of us (subconsciously, perhaps) better understand the other's physiology, or help us identify whether some abberation should be worrisome. But I don't have to be intimate in all those ways, to be intimate. (For some reason, sharing poops stereotypically happens only after sharing bank accounts.)
>>966Is that a wig? or natural hair?