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hi, i'll get into it quick.if i came out as trans, even my most accepting liberal friends and family would never speak to me again, and my fear is that finding accepting people (which should be easy in portland) is going to be made complex by my bones.
what i mean by that is that i have broad shoulders, am well over six feet tall, and am all-around built more like Conan the Barbarian than i am Xena warrior princess. i wanna know if my bone structure is an insurmountable issue that will ultimately cause me to end up looking like some kind of monster, or if there's hope of becoming a passable, maybe even kinda sorta beautiful girl.
pic related: it's the fear that keeps me up most nights.
Something that helps me feel better when I feel like I have too many masculine features is to look around for genetic women who share whatever feature I'm unhappy about. I don't really like my chin, but I have seen MANY women who have the same chin as me.
Women who are over six feet tall are more rare, but I've definitely seen them. In fact, I was hanging out with one of my friends the other day when we spotted a woman who was built much like you describe yourself, and he started raving about how hot he thought she was. (He's like 6'6", so meeting a girl in his height range is rare.)
Do you have a picture of yourself from the shoulders down you can post? I'd like to see what it's like, but honestly, I don't think there's much of anything that can prevent people from passing and being beautiful. Don't be afraid!
this is the closest i've got (no cam)
Your shoulders don't look very wide to me. In any case, tall girls with wide shoulders can still be beautiful. Gabrielle Reece, the volleyball player and model is one example (6'3"). Most models are on the tall side.
It couldn't hurt to start exploring crossdressing and seeing how that goes. The worst that could happen is you hate it and give up. Nothing lost. shrug
Devi Ever(google her) is a guitar effect maker in Portland who is pretty well known and is trans.So don't assume there aren't any :D
By the way, I'm not a big fan of the width of my shoulders either, but I've found that if I wear my hair with a little volume it makes them a little less noticeable.
Comes down to your happiness. Will you ever be happy as a man? Can you live like that? For me the answer was no, so despite male features I spent time working my way into femininity, and believe me it takes some serious effort to fight the inertia one faces at every corner when there is a new issue to defeat.
The suggestion that you study women is spot on though! I started doing this early in my transistion and it made me -WAY- more comfortable. I mean, everyone has "feminine" or "masculine" traits, and in the end you realise it's more about general behaviour and how you dress, what you do with your hair etc. than other factors.
That's not to say heavilly masculine traits will magically be feminine, But unless they're blatantly male, own the issue and just go with it.